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New From The Desk of Jerry Payne...
August 23, 2009
I often run into Active Duty Soldiers and Marines,
mainly because I make an effort to walk up to them and thank them for
serving our Country. If you have served then you will know what I
mean, but if you haven’t then you have not felt the pride you
feel when you wear the uniform and know that you are the front lines of
protection for those of us at home.
I am not sure about your job, but I know that mine
does not require me to take a bullet or be blown out of my vehicle on
the way back to the office, or to hold a little boy in your arms and
feel his trust and need for you to keep his family safe.
I recently spent time with an Army SSGT who has
been in the service for 5 years and has already been to Combat three
times. Three tours of duty before he turns 25. We as a
nation have to be more informed of what it is we are asking of our
Sons, Dads, Daughters, Mothers, etc.
There are a lot of emotions running in the minds
and hearts of our young warriors. Just trying to learn the in and outs
of the Armed Services and being overtaken into the program which is the
most demanding thing any of these recruits and PFC’s have ever
gone through. This takes me to my next point.
The marriage of those who have just joined the
Service is something that needs to be looked at through some new
glasses. It must be realized that for the most part this will be the
first time to be away from their mothers and fathers and will feel very
alone even though there are 25 others in your barracks. So what do they
do?
It is a common practice in the Service, especially
if there are other Soldiers, Marines, etc., that are being killed
overseas; this need to have relationships, and the one which
happens the most is marriage. Find a young woman and marry her,
get military pay for housing, put more money into the paycheck, and
have someone at home who will write you, send you boxes of candy,
cookies, love from home and care about how you are doing. It all
sounds nice doesn’t it?
The problem is that they are getting married and
having babies, and then leaving to fight in a foreign country. The
multi deployments now that have become the mode of operation for all
services is causing a huge problem when you mix this kind of separation
of the families with marriages that never had the time to mature or for
the two to get to know each other. This is a recipe for a disaster and
it seems to be a very popular recipe. It has been recently reported
that Marines coming back from Afghanistan or Iraq, who left with wives
and babies, are divorcing at a rate of 88% when they get back from
Combat.
This is horrible and it even gets worse when a
Marine is wounded then the divorce rate goes to 98%. At the time when
you need love the most, you are dealing with a unhappy wife and one who
wants to get unhooked. People, the damage to the young children
that are coming out of these broken marriages are also paying a
horrible price and being given emotional problems before they turn
three.
The Marine Corp, Army, and other Branches need to
start to take a different look at this and changes must be made. I know
that when I was a young Army Officer I had to get my CO’s
permission to buy a car, it is time to demand the Commanding
Officer’s sign off before they can get married. This will give
time for classes on relationships and marriage and must receive a
certificate of completion. Let’s wake up as a nation and
demand that changes be made because the effect of these broken
relationships has a ripple effect which is causing a tsunami.
Perhaps the Commander in Chief could spend some
time on this enormous problem instead of flying all over Colorado and
Arizona taking in all of the sites, and then needs a vacation at
Martha’s Vineyards. Perhaps the First Lady could lead the cause
to make a difference in the family lives of our Service
members.
The problem is here today, yesterday and it will
be here tomorrow. We must start talking about this and make something
happen to cause a new approach and a new strength in the family unit of
our Military.
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